2019 Spring May 12 Sunday

48 degrees this morning, 98% humidity 

Cold weather continues.   The weather is supposed to turn later this week, actually today is supposed to get into the 70’s, which is an improvement.

Exercise yesterday:

-Stationary Bicycle 28 minutes

-Swim:  15 minutes 10 seconds 

The phrase “Eat dessert first” struck my mind yesterday when I realized consciously that I was wearing some clothes (in this case shoes) that I didn’t really care for because I was “saving” the ones I liked.  

I do the same thing with clothes and other “things”.  

I kind of thought I had gotten away from that kind of thinking, so the realization surprised me, although of course I realized I have been doing it for some time and had kind of rationalized it.  

Not like (at least under present conditions), I can’t buy a new pair or shoes, a t-shirt or a hat anytime I like!  Rather strange I “save” something.

To some degree, some of the t-shirts and hats may be “event” items, that I may want to “save” to wear at a specific point, although I can’t think of any reason that I shouldn’t wear anything now!

It is that type of thinking that I feel I someone changed about  30 something years ago, but of course, it hang’s on in various ways.  

I can think of several parental examples. 

One example, since It is Mother’s Day, I thought about how  my Mom always mentioned she thought cards (Mothers Day, birthday etc.) were so expensive and I should save my money.  So I quit sending them.

Several years later (I’m not sure how it came up), my Mom mentioned about not receiving cards (something that must have  been tough for her) and I mentioned she had said not to send them due to the expense!  She more or less said, well, she was wrong!  I admire her for being able to bring it up and never missed sending a card/letter again!  

Although different, my Day would always not open presents for a long time, apparently he liked the anticipation.  (or he didn’t care, I”m not sure which).  I don’t know how long he would actually not open a present, but I bet there were some unopened presents around when he passed away!  Probably a exaggeration, but maybe not.

Anyway, when I realized I was “delaying gratification”  to that degree, I decided I am going to take some  action to start wearing clothes I like, using items I like now etc. and not “waiting” for some future time to enjoy them.  

Sometimes I tend to resume old habits that I thought I didn’t have any more and then I suddenly realize that I have gotten lazy and let old habits return!  

I may have to remind myself to “eat dessert first” and remember again my commitment to “living in the present while preparing for the future” or words to that effect.  Somehow “eat dessert first” seems to be a good slogan for that!  

I always try to explain  “living in the present” doesn’t mean partying etc., it simply means welcoming all the experiences of daily living, even fully experiencing the “negative” aspects also.  

That’’s it for now, Sunday, May 12, 2019.

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